The Bipolar Buddhist

Welcome In
I'm not going to open with credentials or a pitch. I'll open with the question that started all of this:
Am I seeing my life through who I actually am or through
trauma, suffering, and identities formed by years of unexamined belief?
Most of what I once trusted societal norms, family patterns, inherited ways of thinking, I never questioned.
It was simply how things were done. No one was at fault. I didn't yet have the discernment to see it any other way.
What followed wasn't self-improvement. It was unlearning. Release.
Letting go of what I'd absorbed without ever choosing it.
There was a point I got tired, tired of fixing myself, tired of analyzing myself, tired of feeling broken.
It was exhausting. It made my eyes hurt.
Somewhere in there, practice stopped being about changing who I was.
It became about learning to look honestly at my own experience, and at the people around me especially the
ones I cared about, where there'd been misunderstanding or fragmentation.
That shift is what I now spend my time helping other people find.
"I respect your faith, but doubt will give you an education." Wilson Mizner
I could walk you through every step of the training that brought me to this point, but that would be boring for both of us.
Here's the shape of it instead.
My path has included many forms of practice: long study of martial arts, spiritual discipline, plant medicine ceremonies.
Years of working honestly with suffering, and grief, and the natural changes that come with being human.
Each of these taught me to see myself, and life, through a lens different from what I once believed myself to be.
I had two parents who, under the influence of religion in the late '70s, who were trying anything they could to hold a family together.
In the very early years of my life, I was introduced to and trained in Transcendental Meditation a practice that turned out to be more valuable to me than almost anything else at that time.
Looking back, I can see the purpose my parents served, hard as it was they guided me into the inquiry stage. The search for a better way of life than the one that wasn't working.
It wasn't until the last 25 years that I became fully engaged in Buddhist practice a natural fit alongside my
martial arts training, both of them, in their own way, forms of mindfulness.
A few years into Zen practice,
I was introduced to other tools for emotional transformation and self-reflection more ontological in nature.
A way of looking at yourself, and more importantly, at how you're being in the reality of others.
That deepened my Zen practice considerably.
About a decade ago, I found Naikan a structured self-reflection practice that translates to "inward-looking"
alongside Morita therapy.
The work involves reviewing small sections of your life through three questions that bring your attention back to
mindfulness and gratitude, in a way that actually lasts.
Morita is seeing the world of emotions and thoughts through a different lens, a lens of what they truly are, and
existing through the world of doing,not throught the eyes of feeling.
These practices eventually folded into what I do today.
"This work is found in the practice. I must always practice."
For most of 25 years, I'd have called myself mostly atheist or agnostic a lot of distance from dogmatic religion.
I wouldn't have called myself a spiritual person.
Then, a few years ago, through family, I was introduced to the plant medicines of the Amazon and the ancient
shamanic practices around them.
It was completely unexpected.
I've since been taken on as a shaman's apprentice, and it brought everything together into what I now consider the
most important practice of my life:
Buddhism, Naikan and Morita therapies as a grounding element for living life,
alongside the spiritual dimension of the shaman.
I run a small, part-time coaching and consulting practice out of Salt Lake City.
The forms are simple: making and playing Native American-style flutes and drums, sound-based meditation.
Naikan and Morita practice, mindfulness, and Buddhist practice.
Breathing and Breath work
I'm a certified Naikan-Morita Therapy facilitator, educator, instructor, and coach through the ToDo Institute.
Over the last decade plus I've worked with hundreds of people through sound journey ceremonies, and through
Meditation and mindfulness
Naikan and Morita practice
Flute-making instruction
Drum-crafting instruction
Energetic clearing and intuitive work
Raising energetic and emotional awareness through sound and vibration
Working With Plant Medicine
Naikan is a structured self-reflection and introspection technique that originated in Japan in the 20th century.
It was developed by Ishin Yoshimoto, a Japanese Buddhist, as a method for personal growth, self-awareness, and fostering a sense of gratitude and mindfulness.
Naikan means "looking inward" in Japanese, and it's often used as a therapeutic tool in psychology and counseling.
The key principles of Naikan therapy include:
Self-reflection: Naikan encourages individuals to reflect on their lives, actions, and relationships. This reflection typically involves reviewing one’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a structured and systematic way.
Gratitude: Naikan places a strong emphasis on recognizing and appreciating the things we often take for granted, such as the support and kindness of others, our daily necessities, and the efforts made by people in our lives.
Three Questions: Naikan therapy typically involves asking oneself three fundamental questions:
1. What have I received from others? (related to the support and care received from others)
2. What have I given to others? (related to one’s own actions and contributions)
3. What troubles and difficulties have I caused to others? (related to the times when one’s
actions may have negatively impacted others)
Balance and self-awareness: Naikan helps individuals gain a more balanced and realistic view of themselves and their relationships by acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of their interactions with others.
Mindfulness: Practicing Naikan encourages mindfulness by focusing on the present moment and fostering a deeper understanding of one’s thoughts and emotions.
"Psychology is a theory of untestable ideas. Naikan and Morita are testable and results-based." — Dr. David K. Reynolds
Accept feelings without resistance
Don’t try to fix, suppress, or avoid emotions. Let them be even uncomfortable ones like anxiety or sadness.
Focus on behavior, not emotions
Actions not moods are what matter most. You can act with purpose even while feeling uncertain or distressed.
Live according to purpose, not comfort
The goal isn’t to feel good, but to live well. Value-driven action takes precedence over emotional control.
Feelings change naturally like the weather
Emotions arise and pass on their own. Trust that they’re temporary and not always meaningful or accurate.
Observe, accept, act
A three-step attitude:
Observe what you’re feeling.
Accept its presence without judgment.
Act in alignment with your values.
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