I am grateful for all of those things that I will always take for granted, those small moments that go unnoticed day by day. I am grateful that I know that these things will always be taken for granted.
As I cling to the notion that my life is somehow significant, stuck on the idea that whatever it is that I am doing is more important than those things in the background that I am not! Working hard so that someday there will be some treasure left before I am gone that I will someday enjoy or leave some behind for my heirs.
A notion that I must make it all mean that I was somehow successful and my legacy will be significant through their achievements and monetary worth rather than the time I spend with them and the time I have in the now, this moment of being connected to make it all mean something.
I am grateful for the understanding that I can not possibly conceive the true nature of everything based on the potentially false beliefs of others I have inherited, nor my own.
I am grateful to know in the grandiose way I am meaningless in the true nature of things. That I may know my children, grandchildren, and even possibly my great grandchildren and beyond that at best I will be a footnote on a genealogy page with a possible photo whether I am burned or buried I will be swallowed up by this living and breathing organism on which I currently exist. If you have a library or a street with your name on it future generations will probably not know much about you or will dilute the facts in which you did exist.
All is impermanent waiting to be demolished as even change will always be changing, shifting recycling all of us everything. The only thing real is right now and even that is an illusion based on perception.
This being significant or insignificant if you have followers or follow based on potentially false beliefs that were passed on to you and you passed on to others and our future generations just like DNA and our behaviors.
There is freedom in knowing it is all made up, although our reality seems real. Freedom in knowing that I say I believe I can make a difference, and I will be there for you, and give you a listening ear, or Can I? Perhaps I won’t because I pretend. I have made a facade for you I call being genuine based on my understanding through these false beliefs. I will probably never be or understand what it is to be fully present in the moment or with you.
I shouldn’t worry about the future but I do- I shouldn’t spend more time working but I must if only to fulfill the needs of societal norms, I must be absent from you. The good news in all of this is, however, the only thing that might not be impermanent although we may not be remembered for it like DNA that is transferred from generation to generation or the impermanence of our successes are the ways we treat others, the people who’s lives we touch and the work we do in kindness and compassion we have for others. Offering kindness and being compassionate towards people not because things are particularly hard for them, or they deserve a break. If only for one reason because we are all suffering from the same condition, the human condition. If there is only one aspect of my life that will transfer throughout generations it is the lives I have made a difference in somehow.
I don’t always get this right and when I make a mistake in anger or otherwise, I hope to always take look at it for myself and if I can I will clean it up The way we live as an example is more powerful than the spoken word.
Tonight I have freedom~or absence from it.
Mu~ki
